Steady

Saturday 29 May 2010 by Margot
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It’s beautiful! The sun is out, the sky is gorgeous, the temperature is rising and the birds are singing. All I want to do is go out and lie down in the grass. Maybe make a picnic. That would be nice. Go to the seaside, have a gelato. That would be prefect. Too bad I’m at University. Having exams during a month, one falling every three days on average is harsh. Especially with the weather being as it is. You spend half your time staring out the window, sipping on orange juice with your syllabus on the desk in front of you and the other half with your legs out of the window, sleeping on your chair with your incomprehensible scribbled notes on your lap. They have the weird ability of loosing their meaning when you reread them. Around lunch time, comes my small daily break from the hard brain labour… As usual, I’m off to the supermarket to get more ice cream and yet another highlighter pen.

And it’s one of those days when I switch my phone on. I’ve somehow owned myself a reputation for receiving messages with weeks of lag and I have nothing to say as defence. I’m just plain lazy. But I still love receiving random delayed text messages form my friends every two months. This one’s from Alex a few days or weeks ago:

Je suis entrain d’écouter le dernier album d’IAMX et je ne peut pas m’empêcher de trouver ça tellement bon et de taper dans mes mains comme un con :p
Bon blocus :)


I’m currently listening to the latest album by IAMX and I can’t help but find it so good and clap my hands like an idiot :p
Good cram :)

Well, I’ve got good news for us Alex! I came back from my ice cream purchase the other day and decided to switch on my computer to fool around. That’s when I clicked my way to Chris Corner’s blog and stumbled across this entry:
TODAY WE BEGAN RECORDING IAMX4. I SAY WE, BECAUSE I HAVE MADE THE CHOICE TO INVOLVE OTHERS. MY INTENTION IS TO RECORD AND COLLABORATE, PERFORM AND INDULGE MYSELF. RISKY BUT EXCITING. ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL BLOCKED I HAVE COLLECTED A LOT OF MATERIAL SINCE KOWA. OUT-TAKES AND HALF SONGS WILL BECOME THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THIS RECORD. APART FROM THE CABLE SPAGHETTI AND THE HUM WE MANAGED TO PRODUCE A SETTLED GRINDING LIVE SOUND FOR THE FIRST TRACK, BASED MAINLY ON THE SETUP OF AN IAMX LIVE SHOW. MANY QUIRKY INSTRUMENTS AND KEYBOARDS. EFFECTS AND ATMOSPHERES. HEADS WIDE OPEN. WITH THIS APPROACH I AM TRYING AS HARD AS POSSIBLE TO STOP MYSELF BEING IN THE USUAL SMALL DARK ROOM ALONE AND IN CONTROL. TOO MANY SOLITARY STUDIO HOURS. IT SEEMS THAT THE DAYS OF SCREEN STARING AND SCREAMING NAKED WINE SESSIONS COULD BE OVER. THESE ARE VOLATILE TIMES.
How exciting is that? I feel butterflies in my tummy just by the thought of it. I want to skip and shout and run around everywhere and about! And jump, jump, jump! You better come back from America next year so we can go to the concert together as usual, our yearly meet up. It’s going to be wicked. It’s going to be awesome. It’s going to be a blast. It’s going to be sexy. It’s going to be theatrical. It’s going to be Chris, Chris, Chris! IAMX! Woot! Woot! I don’t care if you have to get a plane ticket back for a single weekend (on top of that, I’m sure your girlfriend would be happy to see you around), you have to be here when they arrive in Brussels! We need to get fan paraphernalia! I’m so exciiiited!

But before all that, we need to massacre these exams and prepare for some festivals this summer. Talking of which… Rock Werchter.

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This is the second year we’re missing this because of ticket problems! If we miss this next year I’m going to sit down in a dark corner and go on a hunger strike! Damn this! We’re doing the three days next year, I don’t care about whatever happens, we just have to! The line up! It’s gorgeous! It’s SICK! But I must say that having the Crookers and the Bloody Beetroots on one stage while having MUSE on the other is plain unfair. Maybe next year will be better organised. Haha, I wish. Let’s hope! We got to train for 72 hours insomnia next year.

OK, well, good luck in your exams everybody who’s having them and let’s get things moving this summer!

Now let’s go study. I am so fed up with this I could tear my psychology syllabus with my bare hands. It’s over 500 pages thick and my hands are week, pale and small so rage has to be on my side. Sigh… The words are becoming truly incomprehensible.



Crystal Castles – Crimewave

PS: for all those who’ve known my past blog, you might have noticed that I’ve come back to my old style of posting with this entry. I hope you like it. For all those arriving on this page for the first time, welcome! I advise you not to back read the six articles posted before this one because they will seem depressive and overly exaggerated if you do not know the circumstances that surrounded them. So yeah, enjoy the posts to come and one day, I might reformat the 100 off line articles to republish them with this new template (they look strange as my previous layout displays were narrower). I’m going to restart the day to day blogging on the 15th so anticipate with me. Hope you will enjoy! ‘Til then, go study or work or do whatever you do. Create a blog while you’re at it. That would be fun. See ya!
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Face

Saturday 22 May 2010 by Margot
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The me around here seems so much more real than that girl on facebook. I hate facebook. It makes me feel trapped. It’s like I’ve got this superficial, childish image pasted on my face and I can’t get it off. Everything is so predefined there. There’s nothing personal. You can’t make it yours; it’s more you that become its. It’s exactly what I posted on the first post of this blog. I’ve become someone who does what people expect her to do. You know, post the pictures, and make them laugh. Exhibition. As all good things, people get used to it and I just want to throw all effort away. I hate facebook. It gives the wrong image of me to people. I could change it but I won’t because then people will ask me what’s going on. They’ll call me a fake, a poser. I know it isn’t true but they don’t. facebook loves gossip. They love to talk. They don’t even seem like people I actually know in real life anymore. Inhuman. Not because they’re mean or anything but just because everyone is watching. I can’t recognise some faces. If I said that on facebook, people would think I'm profoundly depressed, try to not notice. Pass their way. You can’t say whatever you want when people are looking. And it’s lost. Talking to someone. The accidental smile. The complete understanding of the feeling. The certainty of what’s a joke and what’s irony. The absence of the erase key. No side talks in the private messages. Just purity. Just honesty - or not, but that can be sensed. Spontaneity. What’s friendship and what’s concern. It’s the same for MSN. It feels forced. I feel like I have to talk. I feel like I have to say anything to seem interesting and interested. It bothers me. I’m not that kind of girl. Most of the time, I’m the most silent member of my group of friends. Heck, I even got called Yoda once because I would only open my mouth to say positive, wise stuff. On facebook, I’m not like that. I’m not like me. Not that I hate her. She’s pretty cool. She is me just not all the time. It frightens me. The fact that without deciding it, I’ve became that person for the non-people roaming on it for hours and hours long. They aren’t the people who count. The people who do are counted on the fingers of my hand and toes. Not more. Some spend more time than they should on facebook too but they know me. It’s reassuring. My life is so plain over there. I do more things than what is online; I just don’t want to share deeper thoughts on something so skimpy. How many people really do care on it? I’m not saying facebook is all horror but it just feels too easy. You can find people you haven’t seen in decades at a click of the mouse, you can join groups to learn all the funniest jokes, you can become a fan of a band and suddenly get all the feed instantly… It’s a trap. Everything just falls into your hands and it feels like I’m becoming lazy of actually creating something or doing some research myself and it’s getting me frustrated. It's so easy, people don't have the excuse of not knowing, of being blissfully ignorant. And it makes me write and rant about it on my blog. That powerful. Everyone’s on facebook. I’m free writing right now so I don’t know if I’ll regret anything I’ve said. I probably will but I just felt like bringing the true me out here again. At the same time, all I think I need is a healthier relationship with my cyber life. I need a break, take some off time from facebook. The me around here seems so much more real than that girl on facebook. I’m glad of seeing her again. She says she might come back here more often once her exams are over. She misses this place. She hopes her true friends will follow her here.

I don’t know why I’m typing my life out on here. After all, it isn't that much different from facebook isn't it? It's showing yourself. The only thing I think I appear as is a true narcissistic. I need to get out more.

Listen to: Kid Cudi feat MGMT & Ratatat – Pursuit of Happiness


SUNDAY, 23 MAY 2010

As I predicted, I am having regrets on some things I said up here. I was frustrated about some things when I wrote this out and facebook just seemed like an easy victim. I cleared my head by talking with a friend who listened. And when I mean listen, it’s not plain listening but listening listening. I feel much better now. The thing that upset me still isn’t cleared up but at least I can think more calmly now. I’d like to thank that friend. It made a big change.
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Prime

Saturday 8 May 2010 by Margot
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A thousand coloured fabrics, a thousand different savours.
A thousand tears of ink, a thousand flying papers.
A thousand smears of paint, a thousand hits of the hammer.
A thousand pieces placed together.
Nineteen.


Listen to: MUSE – Feeling Good
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