ottoke

For Sylvain

2010-08-27T16:52:00.001+02:00

SOMETHING

Working

2010-08-02T23:25:00.004+02:00

Spent the whole day working at Manoukian with Roxane. I think there were more sales people than clients. It was so dead boring but lucky both of us were there so she got to listen to me babble during a full 7 hours (or nearly). We went out with Antoine to a Thai restaurant after that to celebrate Christophe's birthday (who wasn't there). We migrated to the homemade ice cream shop Capoue where Marie joined us in our celebrations. I left a note for the waiter. A reminder of each order we gave in. I wrote "meanie" under the bill just before handing it back.

The miracle of the day: not one but two pictures of Antoine! Everybody clap your hands! Woot! This is dedicated to him, his tupperware car and crappy radio.

Listen to: Flo Rida feat. T Pain - Low

Lonely

2010-08-01T18:20:00.003+02:00

This is for Marie, it’s a publicity I received in the post. It makes me laugh.

So here I am sipping on Gazpacho and discovering the first pages of Pigmy. Usually, I would be too absorbed by Chuck Palahniuk’s book to even think of setting it down to have another sip of soup let alone type something out on the computer. Yet, that’s exactly what I’m doing and I’m as bored as hell. I did go out to the swimming pool with Marie, Antoine and Pejman this morning and we had lunch together so I shouldn’t feel lonely right? I even saw Kei in the tram and got news from my parents in Rwanda. I’m in a cuddle mood. It’s my sister’s birthday today and I don’t even get a chance of giving her a great big hug. Hugging through the internet just isn’t the same. I’ve been living with 5 to 20 people these past ten days, 24/7, non stop, no break, no pause. I absolutely loved it and I miss them so so so much right now. I need someone to eat up all my free time.

Do you guys ever have this? When you know how you feel but can’t get in down in words? It’s so rhguidykivgbynu! And that my friends, is frustration.

I’m going back to work tomorrow. Roxane will be there too. I really want to see family, friends and new faces. I feel so isolated.

I’m happy I’ve spent such a great time with these people.

Don’t get scared, I’m only showing gratitude.

I love you guys.

Listen to: Alanis Morisette - Head Over Feet

Balanuts

2010-07-31T15:43:00.004+02:00

Back from camp! Photos will follow.

Inner Circle - Sweat
envoyé par Spartak231. - Regardez la dernière sélection musicale.

Walibi

2010-07-19T10:39:00.002+02:00

Walibi was really fun. I've got stuff to do right now so I'm not going to make this long.

I'm a banshee.

I'm off to camp so have fun people, I'll upload the rest of the photos when I come back (and it kind of scares me I've got so many photos in memory of my camera... I'm scared I'll accidently delete them all). Anyways, bye bye everyone, see you in a few days.

Bleh

2010-07-17T16:57:00.001+02:00

Yesterday, I said something mean about a friend to someone on MSN. The friend doesn’t knowA about this but I feel bad about it. I did mean it on the moment but I was tired and… I’m not going to invent excuses, I just shouldn’t have. God, please forgive me.

I didn’t wake up pissed off this morning but it didn’t take long for something to strike a nerve. Namely, a call from my mum telling me what happened yesterday with the whole family affair. As usual, I only got two sentences of explanation but I got the general idea of the situation and that’s when I flamed up. Someone I respected and cherished did something I would have never imagined her doing. Of course, in her situation, I would have be hurt and in distress too but to take it out on someone defenceless? That’s just plain low; especially when that person is an elder member of your family. It disgusts me. I love them both but she really disappoints me with such behaviour. She’s a responsible adult, not a teenager anymore. Even, I would have never done what she did. It’s just so low, low, low. I hope she learns something out of her way of living.

Things lay low the whole morning during which I got some stuff done for my parents and paid a visit to the manga store that sadly didn’t have the series I was looking for. I did get out of there with the latest XXXHOLiC and Vampire Knight though. I got home and cleaned up a bit before packing up some stuff for camp.

The second blow came after midday when I decided to go visit a friend at her work place as she told me we wouldn’t be able to see each other until Sunday because she got herself a job. I brought along her favourite cake for her four o-clock break, knowing she would appreciate it. I got to the place but no one was at her stand so I asked this other girl I know if she saw my friend today. The girl said yes but she was probably taking her break right now. I decided to wait. I sent her a message asking her if she was working and the answer was “no” which I thought weird, but then, maybe she meant she was on her break so I sent another message asking if she was at her work place and the answer was “not until Monday” which I found weirder because the girl at the work place seemed to know who I was talking about. Finally I sent a last message asking if I could pass by her house. There was no answer for a dozen of minutes until I received a “that won’t be possible today”. What’s happening? I’m sure there’s a good explanation behind it all but sometimes, I just get tired of having to dig for my answers.

So yeah, up till now, today has not been my day. I hope it will get better with the evening.

Boredom

2010-07-16T15:34:00.002+02:00

I’m bored. I should be sorting out my stuff for camp on Monday as I probably won’t be home this weekend but I’m lazy. It took me forever to get myself out of bed this morning which is so not me. I think I got a 5 hours straight night of sleeping. Woot! It’s a miracle.

The worst thing about having an iTouch is the fact that I log into FaceBook, first thing in the morning. Damn sunshine, social interaction and outdoors and give me the internet. I was pretty surprised to get messages from a few cousins in Malaysia this morning and got a bit anxious when they declared it was “family emergency”. I’m still not sure what it’s all about and it’s freaking me out. I hope everything is OK and people will contact me sometime soon about it. I hope it’s just a “we forgot your mum’s phone number and it’s her birthday today”. Let’s cross our fingers.

Another thing I noticed today on FaceBook are Sabrina’s holidays pics. She’s at her house in the countryside with her chicken, goats, ponies and lama. I want to see her lama. It looks so adorable; I want to pet it! And the ponies, of course. I love ponies. I’m a pony fanatic. Wheeee! Sabrina, if you’re reading this, I’m winking at you right now.

I hope your lama isn’t like your cat though. That traitorous beast! He’s a huge fat tortoiseshell with five different colours who drags himself from the dining table to the kitchen chairs the whole day long with that I’m-so-cute-come-and-pet-me face. Most people do pet him and he purrs along then suddenly turns around and bites and scratches for no reason. I don’t like that cat. He’s mean. Well, he’s better than the two Dobermans. I’m never going close to them.

I’m dragging on about Sabs animals right now, aren’t I? Two paragraphs and I haven’t even got to the parrot yet. But well, let’s save it for some other time.

Do I sound bored? I am. Sunday is Walibi day. Walibi isn’t only a kangaroo but also an amusement park here in Belgium. Believe it or not, I have never ever taken a rollercoaster before. I know; I suck. I haven’t done ten thousand stuff in my life and people aren’t letting me forget that. I just wish I’ll get to do all of it with them one day. It’s more fun with friends.

So yeah, amusement park on Sunday. Excited.

You probably don’t care a penny about what I’m saying now. I’m just keeping myself occupied. My computer is a loser. It won’t even let me watch YouTube videos in full. *sticks out tongue* I don’t like you, computer.

But it’s weird because I managed to create a new YouTube account and upload a video.

Don’t ask me why that video in particular, I just wanted to see if it works.

OK, OK, OK, got to get going now. I’m going to my aunt Danièle’s place to get one of my cousins camping bag because I can’t find mine in the garage. I could use a suitcase instead but that’s just bleh. So yeah, logging of now! Love you lovelies! Chus!

I’ll be back for more and editing.

---

Ouch, I just bit my lip with my cat teeth. I don’t know their real name but I call the bottom teeth opposite the vampire teeth cat teeth. They bit my lip. Not nice. And that Teejel thing the dentist gave me for my wisdom tooth? It tastes horrible! It’s what they use for calming teething babies. They always think I’m younger than I am.

I ended up staying a while at my aunt’s place. We watched my Cousin Emilie’s marriage video. It was so sweet and well done! Can’t rush love, At last, I got a feeling, You’re the one that I want, You’ll be in my heart,… So many good songs to go with the adorable images, how on earth could it go wrong?

I got the bag, it’s huge, Emilie did the Chemin de Saint Jacques de Compostelle with it. She loves her clothes. That’s saying something.

I really wonder what the family emergency is from this morning; my cousin Hwei Xin keeps on sending me question about some phone numbers and it’s getting me stressed out. Someone please inform me here!!!

Breathe in, breathe out. Think of pretty rainbows and fields full of flowers… uh…

Back to the ranting.

Another thing about people who care is that, as usual, some people have to put my choices in doubt. I know it’s great because I get to think about them over again but at times, it gets annoying.

I am not going to do Art studies. As well as I can draw, as well as I make stuff, as good are my creations, I know that studying it will just make me hate it. Art is something that comes naturally for me, a hobby; I don’t want to force myself into dissecting it piece by piece just to get a diploma. I love art too much to do such thing.

I met Bérengère today on the street. She went to Argentina for a year and is starting Medical studies next year. I don’t know; I just felt like mentioning her. It’s a bit weird. You know, she recognizing me and saying hello whereas she used to treat me like shit when we were in first year of secondary school. She changed. For our high school yearbook, I voted her coolest person out of the lot. It makes me happy.

My thoughts are so random; sometimes, I have a hard time following them.

I think I’ll stop here.

Good evening people.

Listen to: Supreme Team – Super Magic

PS: I never watched Iron Man, if you’re wondering.

PPS: Me calling Malaysia, me calling Malaysia…

TD

2010-06-30T09:49:00.008+02:00

I'll write in the comments some other day. I'm knackered. [03/07/10]

Listen to: The Bloody Beetroots feat. Steve Aoki - Warp

Entertainment

2010-06-28T22:22:00.005+02:00

After some running around with my sister in the morning and a tad of shopping with my mum for the presales and a tennis racquet and shoes for her, I went to the cinema with Anh and Philippe to watch my first 3D movie! It was amazing and Toy Story 3 was just so sweet! I absolutely loved the latino Buzz Lightyear. We had a great time. We hung around a while in town before Philippe had to head back to Waterloo for a friend's birthday.

I just did a wicked game on Massive Music Quizz but forgot to log on my account which totally sucks. I still haven't managed to beat my first registered game on there (what's with this number 69 obsession lately?). It's frustrating when I see Sylvain's score.

He missed one song because he didn't get the artist's name in fast enough. I'm proud of him but at the same time really want to nail him down! Not that that will happen anytime soon. You try beat him ><

Listen to: MUSE - Undisclosed Desires

Walk

2010-06-28T21:07:00.000+02:00

I just realised that I missed a day of blogging... this will be up soon.

Family

2010-06-28T19:30:00.010+02:00

I had a family reunion this weekend (father's mother's side).

Two hours of driving to the country side. I finally got Ghinzu's latest album and got my CD payer out of the cuboard. Sadly, it didn't want to work anymore.

National roads...

Belgian country side villages have weird names like Gouvy-Lez-Piéton or streets named La Rue D'En Haut and flower boutiques called Eh! Fleurs Moi. We stopped in a small village for a drink and as usual, I got teased around by the servers who made me go all around the restaurant (included behind the bar) to get to the toilets and served me my mum's beer.

We got to the place.

Aunt Catherine from England car's broke down so I spent three hours at the garage translating English-French and helping her out.

Everybody started arriving...

The place we always rent out is fantastic: it's got all facilities including a tennis court, basket ball court and football field but the little decorations around the building are... weird.

The church. I've never visited it.

Went for a walk (writting enthusiasm getting sapped out right now).

My sister, an English cousin and her boyfriend.

Cows.

Before the champagne.

My cousin Loïc, me and my aunt Danièle.

my mum and sister.

Later that evening... I will never ever sleep in the same room as my mum ever again!

Listen to: Bob Marley - One Love

Girly

2010-06-27T21:49:00.002+02:00

I got scolded by my sister and mum about the new shoes I got. They were complaining about how they were too high and hooker-ish they look like but I don't care, I like them. What do you think?

I met up with Anh at the University then Kelly at the Abbaye de la Cambre. I missed Quyen and Sabrina at Flagey because I rushed home to eat and go to see Sex And The City 2 with my sister. It was overly exagerated but good. We had good laughs.

Listen to: Jay Z feat Alicia Keys - Empire State Of Mind Part II

Seaside

2010-06-27T15:06:00.002+02:00

TO BE EDITED: WAITING FOR MARIE'S PHOTOS

The Kooks - She moves in her own way
envoyé par vinz_sordid. - Regardez plus de clips, en HD !

Job

2010-06-23T18:55:00.004+02:00

I went out with Marie and Roxane again today because they needed to sign their student job contract at Inno and the saleslady proposed me a job during the two first weeks of sales at Manoukian so I gladly accepted. Yeah! Score! I'd like to thank Antoine's mummy for letting us know about these vacncies. We went to McDonalds and eat our hearts out and meet up with Antoine.

We spent some time in a comic book shop than because he was bored and had nothing else to do, Antoine drove each of us back home. He more or less remembered where I stayed from Pejman dropping us back home yesterday. I'm impessed. Can't wait for the seaside tomorrow!

Listen to: Jason Mraz - Geek In The Pink

Woods

2010-06-23T13:18:00.007+02:00

Once again, let's pretend I wrote this out yesterday. I walked with my mum and sister from the university campus all the way to the Place Sainte Catherine to eat lunch then I took a bus back to campus.

Simon taking sun on the lawn. Comments today will be very unconstructive. I'm being lazy once again.

Simon took photos that could make you think some people were going out with others. First victims: Isabella and Philippe.

Next: Sylvain and me.

Ana was spared. (Is it me or am I particularly sappy today... whatever)

I migrated to the Bois de la Cambre where Marie, Roxane, Antoine and Pejman were. Here's Antoine in the shade with a big sweater on. 23°C is freezing, really.

Pejman and Marie going through Roxane's GSM.

Roxane, oblivious. Pejman later on ended up with the contents of a bottle of water on his curls.

We got in Pejman's car with the speakers on loud to hit a restaurant three streets away so we could well.. eat and see the matches. South Korea qualified! Yeah!

We went to the ice cream shop for pancakes as desert.

We paid 9 euros with 39 coins. At first we had 50 but Antoine felt too embarrassed so I exchanged a few. That was my day resumed into a few lines. Good laughs.

Listen to: Pitbull - I know You Want Me

Dental

2010-06-21T16:42:00.008+02:00

She doesn't look like me, doesn't she? If you've heard about my project of maybe getting two or three short comic strips out, this isn't the character design I'm planing on having. I'm just in the Disney/manga princess mood. It's just a small doodle done while waiting for dinner. I look like half a hamster today. I woke up early to go to the commune house for registering my new address. I’ve been living in this apartment for nearly a year now and haven’t done that but it’s over with now. Hopefully I won’t have to run back again soon. Then we got to the dentist so I’m staying at home now.

Turn It Up by T.O.P was released during the day and Portugal won North Korea 7 – 0 but I didn’t get to see it all as I didn’t have a TV on hand. I did listen to U2, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Nirvana at the dentist’s cabinet though. My doctors are cool like that.

Listen to: Queens Of The Stone Age - Little Sister

Tai Chi

2010-06-20T22:02:00.002+02:00

Today I went for my mum’s Tai Chi demonstration. As usual, only photos. It’s becoming a habit.

Sifu Sing and Sifu Sophie.

My mum’s group! Haha! They tied their hair in pigtails, the sifu was laughing out loud. I’m proud of my mama, she did great!

Sifu Sing. He’s so graceful; I could just watch him for hours. It’s so relaxing. I might pick up kung fu again. I only went three times last year because I couldn’t follow as I arrived in the middle of the year but maybe I’ll join back in September. It was fun.

Sifu Sophie. She’s my hairdresser and the nicest one ever! We all went over to her house after the demonstration for good Vietnamese food and socializing. She doesn’t only do tai chi, hair cuts and good food, she excels in them too. She was ranting about the Sifu Sing joining their last national competition because of course she got second place, how could she beat her own master?

It was another fun day even though it was as cold as if we were in autumn or something. I hardly slept last night after the marriage, woke up early for this and have to get up early again tomorrow so I’m going to log off now.

Bye, bye my lovelies!

Listen to: Huang Yida – Blue Sky

Marriage

2010-06-20T20:33:00.006+02:00

I can’t keep up with this blog! I’ve been up and about doing stuff and can’t find the courage to drag myself on here to type out some articles. Sorry. Let’s just pretend I really posted this on the 18th. I didn’t take much photos of my cousin’s marriage because there were professional photographers and I just wanted to enjoy as much as I could. It was superb. Emilie was gorgeous and Jacques was so cute. I wish them loads and loads of happiness. They’re so good together. Emilie was in heaven, smiling all the time. Jacques had his cheeky smile on. I had a really good table for the dinner. The only bad point was the Belgian weather but as they say, rainy marriage means long marriage. There’s just too much too say and I know I’m not in the mood of writing because I’m dead tired again (too little hours of sleep do that to you). I won’t be able to express how perfect it was so I’ll just let my few pictures do the talking and hope you enjoy. It was just awesome.

The Church

Jacques waiting for his wife-to-be.

This photo is blurry but I have to put it. It’s Loïc walking his big sister down the aisle as their father passed away a few years ago. Their mum started crying, it was a very emotional moment.

The evening took place at the groom’s familial property in the middle of the countryside.

Perfect and sweet.

Listen to: Black Eyed Peas – I Gotta Feeling

Cut

2010-06-18T21:05:00.003+02:00

I started the day early to go search for a dress for my sister to wear at the marriage and some shoes for me. By the time it was lunch, I was knackered but still had to get stuff from the supermarket. We were in the car and my mum dropped me so I could get the milk and stockings I needed. I thought they would have waited for me to drive back but I just had to go by foot again. Hairdresser: before.

Hairdresser: after.

Pictures for Odile, to town to the cinema and finally back home. I’m exhausted. Tomorrow is the marriage. I’m going to sleep early.

Listen To: Fiest – I Feel It All

Sista

2010-06-17T20:30:00.002+02:00

Sister is back! Yeah! She doesn’t agree with my “girls are fruits, guys are animals theory”. I told her that girls are fruit because we’re sweet and don’t need anything but sun and water to survive. She says it means we have an expiration date.

I woke her up from her nap today and she got a cramp in her leg. I took my monkey key ring that laughs like a hysteric and pressed its tummy. She gave it the finger and started boxing it. Random facts.

I got some books for the summer and don’t feel like writing a ton right now. I’ll see you guys some other day! Bye!

Listen To: The La’s – There She Goes

PS: The photo is a random shot I took today and it isn’t good but leaving this post without a picture seemed heartless.

Nothing

2010-06-16T20:20:00.002+02:00

I have just spent the most boring first day of holiday of my life. I woke up early as usual this morning but managed to laze in bed until 9:30 which is pretty unusual for me. Lucky I did so though because otherwise this day would have been even longer than it already was. I logged in my computer to win an auction on eBay then asked my mum if she wanted to do something together today as I specially reserved this day to be with her as I would be busy with my own stuff in the following weeks. She said that sure, we could do something together, just that she had to get her nails done for my cousin’s upcoming marriage first. I lazed around during the first part of the day and just went out to get some pampering material and a sketch book. When I came back, we eat. Then, as she wanted to wash, I did my own toenails, waiting for her to finish so we could go down to town to the English bookshop together. She went out for a walk on her own, leaving me alone at home with my wet nails. She came back saying that my aunt Danièle was going to pass by to give her the address of the shop where we had to pick up the tailored suit for my Papy (granddad on my Dad’s side, his real name is Jacques, if you’re wondering). So, I was like sure, at what time? She didn’t know so I told her to call up my aunt at the hairdresser’s so we could know when we should be home for her. But, of course, my mum didn’t want to pick up the phone. We watched TV together but she tells me how to spell hippopotamus her own way during half of the Nature program. H-i-p-p-a-t-o-o-m-u-s. I got fed up because I couldn’t follow anything and let her watch her tennis while I took a nap. During that nap, she starts rearranging all the beauty products in the bathroom (right next to my room), brushes my room’s carpet and vacuuming. She couldn’t think of doing that stuff before? Normally she’s glued to her tennis and won’t get up from the sofa but no, this time, she has to make a ruckus just when I decide to sleep. I wake up grumpy as hell when she knocks on my room door accompanied by my aunt. I look like a mammoth just sat on me on my bed. I’m pissed off I spent the whole first day of holiday stuck at home painting my toenails. I try to small talk with her, to calm my nerves but she doesn’t get half my jokes which just make me feel more frustrated. Well, she did get that I was joking when I asked her how on earth our dog could hand in his passport on his own if he took the plane by himself but that’s pretty much it. The other half of the time she would stop me in mid sentence to say that the kitchen wall isn’t clean and rush over to it with her sponge. I would change room for three minutes and when I come back, all my stuff is back in the cupboard or folded when I was still using the sweater or music player. I can’t find half my stuff. Out of the blue she has decided to take over the living room of our one room apartment when I’m the one who’s been sleeping there for the past month. This isn’t her greatest idea as she snores and I can hear everything from my room. And now, the computer (oh, my computer, let’s not talk about it) and the TV are in the same room so the sounds mix up and that’s just one thing I can’t stand. I sometimes wonder about how she thinks. I’m ranting, I know. I’m sorry. I still love my mama but there are times she just drives me up the walls.

I was invited to a bar tonight in town but I’m not going because my sister is arriving at the airport early tomorrow morning so really, I’ve done nothing of my day and I’m currently on edge because of it. I’m hating this. I hope tomorrow is better. Must be, Odile will be back in town.

I’m leaving you with this fabulous portrait Marie G did of me two years ago while trying to guess my origins (Angelina Jolie, transgenic corn and a fly are included in the family tree). It’s just so much more interesting then anything that happened today.

Listen To: Ben L'Oncle Soul – Seven Nation Army

PS: believe or not, my computer shut down on me twice while writing this. It isn’t my day today. I need some Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream.

E69

2010-06-15T21:46:00.004+02:00

Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over!

Rewind.

I don’t feel like writing exactly everything down on this blog but here’s what I did of the day. In the morning I had my final exam then went to Pizza Hut with some friends. I had the 8 slices from the pizza buffet I’ve been craving for the past week. We got back to campus to take some sun on the lawn and join some other people and ended up at the woods in a small group a little away from the huge bunch of people from our faculty who were playing football and drinking up some crates. I had my feet hanging over the edge of the pound, hovering over the water when a whole bunch of ducks came our way. I got scared of getting beaked so got my legs back onto the bank. They swam away so I let my feet down again… Then they made a u-turn and came back to my feet and just continued annoying me like that. Finally, they swam away for good. By then, Philippe and Sylvain were back from their beer purchase at the supermarket and I finally got to relax. That’s when this swan appeared.

I think it’s a guy because he just stayed mesmerised by my legs and refused to obey to Sylvain calling it’s name (E69, I read it on his tag). Anh was hand feeding it grass. I don’t know if it’s natural for a swan to eat grass or if it was flirting with us or if it was a weed addict but it was weird because he only accepted the grass Anh was hand feeding it and wasn’t listening to Sylvain’s “Eat my feet!”. At the end Sylvain started calling it Gazelle and it went over to him which makes me confused about the swan’s sexuality. Its name’s E69 after all. Whatever, I just called it Duck because he was too pushing and uneducated to be called swan. It’s a bit like the Ugly Duckling story gone wrong.

At four o-clock, we left Eatmyfeet alone to go watch the Portugal-Ivory Coast football match (since Sylvain is half Portuguese and a huge football fan) so we got to this small bar and got frustrated on the bad playing before heading once again back to the University so that the guys could catch their train. It was pretty sad having to say goodbye for the holidays as I won’t be able to see them before two weeks but I think we’ll get to see more of each other in July as we’re all sitting for the Summer Exam session in August.

But first, let’s just kick back and relax!

Have fun people!

Listen To: Lovin' Spoonful - Summer In The City

Out

2010-06-12T18:33:00.007+02:00

I’m too lazy to seriously blog today; I don’t have much to say either. I’ve been so bored lately. I’m getting seriously fed up of the exams. On Tuesday, it will be over… for a month, then we start again. But still, I’ve got that one month; have to think about it to not go crazy.

Alright, I’m going to free write again because um… I want to? So let’s see what’s going through my mind: South Korea, Alejandro, sun, elections and food. Wow, so original isn’t it not?

Let’s start with the South Korea part. I never watch TV, let alone follow football and this time is no change: I got the news of their victory from Anh through the internet. You might find this pathetic and I fully agree. Cheers! But back to the subject: South Korea won the football match and I could hear the supporters singing the Korea Shouting song in the streets all the way from Seoul. Well, actually, I couldn’t but it’s a nice image. Their cheer song is extremely cheesy by the way but most of them are after all. They got three bonus points in theirs: world champion figure skater Kim Yuna, Asian superstars Big Bang and last but not least, TOP sings in it. Yup, you read that right. Here it is if you’re curious and haven’t seen it yet.

Which leads me to ask myself why on earth is Shakira singing the official World Cup song? Shouldn’t it be a South African singer? I know I would have preferred it to be so. There really is no reason why a Columbian mega star should take the spotlight. I’m confused.

I missed the opening yesterday because I fell asleep. It’s my TV abstinence that pushed me into slumber, don’t blame me. I think Brazil, Italy or Portugal will win the tournament but that’s just my intuition, I repeat again, I never really follow football. I think the only game I got really interested in was the Italy-France final a few years ago. I was at my caravan in Saint Tropez with my friend Marta, a Portuguese girl who’s crazy about football. We just had to go to some local restaurant to catch the final and it was really fun because she knew everything about the game and was explaining stuff for me so I could follow. We were both rooting for Italy in the middle of the provincial French restaurant and getting angry stares behind our backs. Everybody was glaring whenever we cheered Italy on. It was really fun. Anyways, Italy won and we celebrated on the beach in the dark, two lonely figures being happy while the gloom of defeat was taking over the city. No, I’m lying; there was some crazy teen running up and down the beach screaming “Italieeee! Italieeeee! Italieeeee!” which was seriously pissing off his friends. It was sarcasm, of course, which just made me grin even more. Wonder who’ll win this year…

Topic two: Lady Gaga’s promotional video for her song Alejandro has finally come out! And once again, it's raunchy, relentless and 8 minutes long. You just never get bored with her. It was like a bunch of gay Nazis prancing around a weird Madonna-wannabe with boob guns mixed with shitty pop music and bad French accents. Ultimately, stupid, if you ask me. I think she rips off quite a few artists and uses sex to captivate people but I don’t really mind. At east the girl knows how to entertain and sing simultaneously. It’s pretty rare nowadays. I’ll let you decide of what she’s worth yourselves with the video right here.

The sun is out and I’ve been stuck at home the whole day with a Political Economics syllabus. I’m going crazy right now and need to do some shopping.

If you’re still hanging in there, reading this entry, I must now take a break from my keyboard to clap. I’m under the impression that I’m being particularly boring today.

Tomorrow are the Belgian elections and I have no idea who to vote for and sincerely, I’m not sure it’ll make a difference. They call it a democracy but it always ends up to be a pride fight in the end. You tell me.

I’ll stop here because I’m fed up of writing and my mum should be back from my aunt Danièle’s house soon to have dinner and I’ve been silent for the last ten minutes on my conversation on MSN with Philippe. So yeah, tata folks, have fun.

And I don’t know what song to play for you all so I’m going to ask Philippe.

Listen to: The Offspring – Pretty Fly For A White Guy

PS: Such an unstructured entry, I didn’t even reread; it gives me a keyboard itch

Studying

2010-06-05T00:05:00.000+02:00

I'm going to keep this blog simple, let the pictures do the talking. Here's me and one of my lovely school books. Now let's check out what other people are doing during this month of intense labouring atmosphere.

Laura V. is drawing (Jim Carrey in the movie The Number 23).

Tien is folding origami.

Listen to: Only Man - Audio Bullys

And André is looking for cool videos on the internet.

We're such hard working people. I can't wait for these exams to be over with! I want to get creative! I got a pencil itch and I want to have a try at some DIY clothing...

Just two weeks more...

Steady

2010-05-29T13:02:00.001+02:00

It’s beautiful! The sun is out, the sky is gorgeous, the temperature is rising and the birds are singing. All I want to do is go out and lie down in the grass. Maybe make a picnic. That would be nice. Go to the seaside, have a gelato. That would be prefect. Too bad I’m at University. Having exams during a month, one falling every three days on average is harsh. Especially with the weather being as it is. You spend half your time staring out the window, sipping on orange juice with your syllabus on the desk in front of you and the other half with your legs out of the window, sleeping on your chair with your incomprehensible scribbled notes on your lap. They have the weird ability of loosing their meaning when you reread them. Around lunch time, comes my small daily break from the hard brain labour… As usual, I’m off to the supermarket to get more ice cream and yet another highlighter pen.

And it’s one of those days when I switch my phone on. I’ve somehow owned myself a reputation for receiving messages with weeks of lag and I have nothing to say as defence. I’m just plain lazy. But I still love receiving random delayed text messages form my friends every two months. This one’s from Alex a few days or weeks ago:

Je suis entrain d’écouter le dernier album d’IAMX et je ne peut pas m’empêcher de trouver ça tellement bon et de taper dans mes mains comme un con :p
Bon blocus :)

I’m currently listening to the latest album by IAMX and I can’t help but find it so good and clap my hands like an idiot :p
Good cram :)

Well, I’ve got good news for us Alex! I came back from my ice cream purchase the other day and decided to switch on my computer to fool around. That’s when I clicked my way to Chris Corner’s blog and stumbled across this entry:

TODAY WE BEGAN RECORDING IAMX4. I SAY WE, BECAUSE I HAVE MADE THE CHOICE TO INVOLVE OTHERS. MY INTENTION IS TO RECORD AND COLLABORATE, PERFORM AND INDULGE MYSELF. RISKY BUT EXCITING. ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL BLOCKED I HAVE COLLECTED A LOT OF MATERIAL SINCE KOWA. OUT-TAKES AND HALF SONGS WILL BECOME THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF THIS RECORD. APART FROM THE CABLE SPAGHETTI AND THE HUM WE MANAGED TO PRODUCE A SETTLED GRINDING LIVE SOUND FOR THE FIRST TRACK, BASED MAINLY ON THE SETUP OF AN IAMX LIVE SHOW. MANY QUIRKY INSTRUMENTS AND KEYBOARDS. EFFECTS AND ATMOSPHERES. HEADS WIDE OPEN. WITH THIS APPROACH I AM TRYING AS HARD AS POSSIBLE TO STOP MYSELF BEING IN THE USUAL SMALL DARK ROOM ALONE AND IN CONTROL. TOO MANY SOLITARY STUDIO HOURS. IT SEEMS THAT THE DAYS OF SCREEN STARING AND SCREAMING NAKED WINE SESSIONS COULD BE OVER. THESE ARE VOLATILE TIMES.

How exciting is that? I feel butterflies in my tummy just by the thought of it. I want to skip and shout and run around everywhere and about! And jump, jump, jump! You better come back from America next year so we can go to the concert together as usual, our yearly meet up. It’s going to be wicked. It’s going to be awesome. It’s going to be a blast. It’s going to be sexy. It’s going to be theatrical. It’s going to be Chris, Chris, Chris! IAMX! Woot! Woot! I don’t care if you have to get a plane ticket back for a single weekend (on top of that, I’m sure your girlfriend would be happy to see you around), you have to be here when they arrive in Brussels! We need to get fan paraphernalia! I’m so exciiiited!

But before all that, we need to massacre these exams and prepare for some festivals this summer. Talking of which… Rock Werchter.

This is the second year we’re missing this because of ticket problems! If we miss this next year I’m going to sit down in a dark corner and go on a hunger strike! Damn this! We’re doing the three days next year, I don’t care about whatever happens, we just have to! The line up! It’s gorgeous! It’s SICK! But I must say that having the Crookers and the Bloody Beetroots on one stage while having MUSE on the other is plain unfair. Maybe next year will be better organised. Haha, I wish. Let’s hope! We got to train for 72 hours insomnia next year.

OK, well, good luck in your exams everybody who’s having them and let’s get things moving this summer!

Now let’s go study. I am so fed up with this I could tear my psychology syllabus with my bare hands. It’s over 500 pages thick and my hands are week, pale and small so rage has to be on my side. Sigh… The words are becoming truly incomprehensible.

Crystal Castles – Crimewave

PS: for all those who’ve known my past blog, you might have noticed that I’ve come back to my old style of posting with this entry. I hope you like it. For all those arriving on this page for the first time, welcome! I advise you not to back read the six articles posted before this one because they will seem depressive and overly exaggerated if you do not know the circumstances that surrounded them. So yeah, enjoy the posts to come and one day, I might reformat the 100 off line articles to republish them with this new template (they look strange as my previous layout displays were narrower). I’m going to restart the day to day blogging on the 15th so anticipate with me. Hope you will enjoy! ‘Til then, go study or work or do whatever you do. Create a blog while you’re at it. That would be fun. See ya!

Face

2010-05-22T15:21:00.004+02:00

The me around here seems so much more real than that girl on facebook. I hate facebook. It makes me feel trapped. It’s like I’ve got this superficial, childish image pasted on my face and I can’t get it off. Everything is so predefined there. There’s nothing personal. You can’t make it yours; it’s more you that become its. It’s exactly what I posted on the first post of this blog. I’ve become someone who does what people expect her to do. You know, post the pictures, and make them laugh. Exhibition. As all good things, people get used to it and I just want to throw all effort away. I hate facebook. It gives the wrong image of me to people. I could change it but I won’t because then people will ask me what’s going on. They’ll call me a fake, a poser. I know it isn’t true but they don’t. facebook loves gossip. They love to talk. They don’t even seem like people I actually know in real life anymore. Inhuman. Not because they’re mean or anything but just because everyone is watching. I can’t recognise some faces. If I said that on facebook, people would think I'm profoundly depressed, try to not notice. Pass their way. You can’t say whatever you want when people are looking. And it’s lost. Talking to someone. The accidental smile. The complete understanding of the feeling. The certainty of what’s a joke and what’s irony. The absence of the erase key. No side talks in the private messages. Just purity. Just honesty - or not, but that can be sensed. Spontaneity. What’s friendship and what’s concern. It’s the same for MSN. It feels forced. I feel like I have to talk. I feel like I have to say anything to seem interesting and interested. It bothers me. I’m not that kind of girl. Most of the time, I’m the most silent member of my group of friends. Heck, I even got called Yoda once because I would only open my mouth to say positive, wise stuff. On facebook, I’m not like that. I’m not like me. Not that I hate her. She’s pretty cool. She is me just not all the time. It frightens me. The fact that without deciding it, I’ve became that person for the non-people roaming on it for hours and hours long. They aren’t the people who count. The people who do are counted on the fingers of my hand and toes. Not more. Some spend more time than they should on facebook too but they know me. It’s reassuring. My life is so plain over there. I do more things than what is online; I just don’t want to share deeper thoughts on something so skimpy. How many people really do care on it? I’m not saying facebook is all horror but it just feels too easy. You can find people you haven’t seen in decades at a click of the mouse, you can join groups to learn all the funniest jokes, you can become a fan of a band and suddenly get all the feed instantly… It’s a trap. Everything just falls into your hands and it feels like I’m becoming lazy of actually creating something or doing some research myself and it’s getting me frustrated. It's so easy, people don't have the excuse of not knowing, of being blissfully ignorant. And it makes me write and rant about it on my blog. That powerful. Everyone’s on facebook. I’m free writing right now so I don’t know if I’ll regret anything I’ve said. I probably will but I just felt like bringing the true me out here again. At the same time, all I think I need is a healthier relationship with my cyber life. I need a break, take some off time from facebook. The me around here seems so much more real than that girl on facebook. I’m glad of seeing her again. She says she might come back here more often once her exams are over. She misses this place. She hopes her true friends will follow her here.

I don’t know why I’m typing my life out on here. After all, it isn't that much different from facebook isn't it? It's showing yourself. The only thing I think I appear as is a true narcissistic. I need to get out more.

Listen to: Kid Cudi feat MGMT & Ratatat – Pursuit of Happiness

SUNDAY, 23 MAY 2010

As I predicted, I am having regrets on some things I said up here. I was frustrated about some things when I wrote this out and facebook just seemed like an easy victim. I cleared my head by talking with a friend who listened. And when I mean listen, it’s not plain listening but listening listening. I feel much better now. The thing that upset me still isn’t cleared up but at least I can think more calmly now. I’d like to thank that friend. It made a big change.

Prime

2010-05-08T22:33:00.002+02:00

A thousand coloured fabrics, a thousand different savours.
A thousand tears of ink, a thousand flying papers.
A thousand smears of paint, a thousand hits of the hammer.
A thousand pieces placed together.
Nineteen.

Listen to: MUSE – Feeling Good

Exhume

2010-04-19T17:31:00.002+02:00

The year I began to say “alone” instead of “with my parents”, a person I knew only through prefabricated sentences made me cry.

This person was not hurt when reality hit me. This person I had known yet had never met for years held me through preformatted paragraphs so I wouldn’t see the emotions if there were any. I remember knowing I shouldn’t look for them, and knowing that I would look if it wasn’t that I wasn’t let to do so.

My concern was leaked onto these keys. They said “You’ll be okay, you can do better.”

I cried from the fear of pain. But I did not feel any pain. In compassionate arms, I knew there was pain in the room. I just didn’t know whose pain it was.

I’ve learned to hate the words “thank you”. Drugs are dependency, not for me.

One thousand Euros were required, which, when I told it, became more and more, because nothing is ever as bad as it could be.

Home, sweet home.

Sometimes, I feel like the price on my own head is triple sixes.

But in it, these thoughts are priceless. The first step — especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money — the first step to controlling our world is to control our culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world we demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.

To get out there.

PS: “Thank you” are mere words, they are nothing compared to how grateful I am towards those who are here for me. I want to offer you my feelings because I wish you to understand just how important you all are for me. I love you all. “Thank you” is insufficient.

Listen to: Pony Pony Run Run – Hey You

Blue

2010-04-05T19:10:00.001+02:00

Imagine the sun beaming down on you – the big warm circle traced in bright yellow pastel on the brilliant cobalt sky. Picture the way a child would draw the sea – lines and lines of blue wriggling across a pristine white piece of paper. Watch the boat appear – the big rounded triangle topped with the two smaller ones, a line running between them. You’re sailing, drifting away from your everyday troubles. It’s peaceful. Only luxury, calm and volupty. You’re leaving everything behind. It’s only when you let everything go that you’re free to do anything.

The water is lapping onto the nave. You can smell the salt in the air. The warm wind carries soft sand into your hair. The moment is golden. You pray the person you’ve lost is in a place as idyllic as this. The sway is a rocking bed; the water, a lullaby.

Here in this little piece of paradise, the regular beating is the one of the light breeze in the sails. It’s calm. There is no hammer. There is no drill. The sand nesting itself in your hair is not the ceiling of your kitchen crumbling to pieces above you. The sea is serene. The haul is voluptuous.

There might be an island in the distance, somewhere out there. It’s an adventure. It’s promising. The future is somewhere on the horizon. It’s somewhere here on the deck. The wood is shiny. It smells like honey. The cotton you’re wearing is tough and worn out at the right places. It’s comfortable. You’ve got a tan. The gulls call out.

Everything you have learned everything they have taught you, everything you have to know; it all disappears to nothing. You are alone, you can be anything. You can do anything. There are no critics, there is no social network, there are no rules, there is no gossip, there are no whispers, and there is no lurking eye. It’s just you. You and the sea. The sea and the sun. The sun and the boat. The boat and you. A colourful world on the blank canvas of your mind.

You’re a child again, playing around, making a fool of yourself and not minding it. You’re laughing and screaming out and dancing on your tiptoes. You’re eager in mind and living in a fantasy reality.

You don’t have to work. You don’t have to see people labouring away, day in, night out. You don’t have to see the crushed truth. You don’t have to feel the loneliness. Sailor’s rum. Back and forth. To and fro. Just the lull. To and fro. The sway. To and fro. The roll. To and fro. The swing.

To and fro. The phone rings and it all disappears. It just all comes back to you. Cork to the surface. It’s so hard to forget pain.

Your mum sounds sad, she misses you. She’s troubled and grieved.

I hate social networks. This house is a mess. The water is cold. I have insomnia from the noise. My electricity has been cut down to the legal minimum. My grandfather died. Justice is ironic. You don’t need to know more.

The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.

I’m here on my one square meter of balcony, bathing in the cold Belgian Easter Monday sun. I put down the phone and imagine the way a child would draw the sea – lines and lines of blue wriggling across pristine white piece of paper. The boat appears – a big rounded triangle topped with the two smaller ones, a line running between them. I’m sailing, drifting away from my everyday troubles. It’s peaceful. The water is lapping onto the nave. I can nearly smell the salt in the air. The warm wind carries soft sand into my hair. My drenched laundry flapping around me adds to the imaginary. Here in my mind, I have complete privacy. Here, there is no difference between what is and what could be.

Listen to: Maximilian Hecker – Summer Days in Bloom

Amazing

2010-03-21T14:31:00.002+01:00

Are you listening? It’s the rain landing onto the bus stop shelter. It’s been fifteen minutes I’ve been waiting here. Two cars have made it pass the roundabout twenty meters away. It’s wet. It’s crowded. Students are chatting away about their plans for the weekend. I eavesdrop. Voyeurism is the vice of our century. I wait. I’m excited. I meet Myriam and we manage to squeeze ourselves onto a single “large person” seat and we talk. She’s not sure she’s invited to the party she’s going to. Never mind, she’s bringing Martini along. We’re both late but company is nice.

Are you listening? He asks us if we want to have a drink with him, maybe go to a club. He’s dreaming. He asks us where we’re from. The corner of my eyes are squinted, Myriam has thick curly light brown hair. She says “Algeria”. Well, after all, everybody wants to be loved. We leave each other and I meet up with Alex. It’s been months since we’ve seen each other but from the manner we greet, it could have been yesterday. It feels great.

Are you listening? It’s the boy in the fast food who eyes my t-shirt and whispers under his breath “IAMX”. We know why we’re here. We get “IAMX + Bruxelles” badges at the entrance.

Are you listening? Voices. There’s plenty of them, muffled by even more. Somewhere in this mess of sound, the opening act is playing, trying to be heard. The crowd isn’t overwhelmed. He’s trying to build up the stage but his cord breaks. Pity. It’s dark. Cigarettes litter the floor and my sneakers are already sticky with all the beer. It smells like pot. It smells like sweat. It smells like anticipation. There’s a buzz. There’s desire lingering in the air. Antlers are dangling down from the synthesiser that is its throne. It’s wrapped up in black and gold. We’re all waiting for the alchemy to commence. We’re all waiting to celebrate de chemistry. The emotional concern, technical craft, the intense care and spirit, we want Chris. We wait and wait and wait. I’m right behind the tallest guy in the hall and I’m not happy. We wait and wait and wait. It’s been an hour and we wait some more. He has enough of it and go gets himself a beer. Our hearts need more than just unearned instant gratification. Reward comes through longing, waiting, supporting and deserving.

Are you listening? It’s the crowd going wild. It’s chaos. Love is chaos. Finally, the day starts as the lights go out. They come as a missile: straightforward and honest with nothing to hide, ready to explode. The stage goes from cords to chords; the audience goes from amps to amped. The room is saturated, overwhelmed with primitive emotions. Chris sweet talks us and someone screams “I love you”. He stops himself in mid sentence and looks up into the crowd with huge, amazed eyes. There’s a short moment of anticipating silence and then comes the response: “I love you too”. The naive, pure, astonishing enthusiasm that follows brings the atmosphere up to another level. When “Think Of England” comes on, I get pushed away from Alex. People are clawing at me, pushing me forward, pulling my hair and trampling my feet. They’re glaring and fulminating. I don’t know what happened but I’m now one meter away from Chris and he’s pointing at me. He’s right in front of me and he’s singing with his hand outstretched to me. I feel the hate burn down the nape of my neck. Like the drunk convinced he’s sober, I keep on falling over and over, deeper and deeper into the music.

Are you listening? There’s a roar. I panic when an arm firmly grips my shoulders. It’s a crowd surfer riding the wave and I’m at the barrier. Security rushes forward as he crushes my arms. Chris comes back to centre stage and bends down right in front of us. We’re smiling.

Are you listening? It’s gratitude.

Are you listening? The night is quiet. The air tastes pure. The noise is replaced by silence instead. It isn’t empty. There are so many thoughts to be heard and expressed without words. Ears are ringing and eyes are focused on the images painted onto our eyelids: the broken smile and taunted charm. We don’t need to talk; we’re still under the spell. They say you kneel before your heroes.

Are you listening? The lyrics are replaying themselves over and over in your head. Every word. He weaves magic into every little thing. The poetry of dirt and love, vulgarity and hope… From his little basement apartment in Berlin to the stages too small to contain the euphoria, it feels like he stole the words out of our moths and made it something bigger, something more beautiful and powerful and cynical – because cynicism is a lifeline. He looked tired. The wind is freezing cold; it bites you back to reality. He’s loosing money, sleep and friends during this tour, in his art. It’s a cruel world for small things.

Are you listening? It’s my rage; it’s my frustration shouting out at the world. His independence, his freedom and liberty are the virtues everybody is craving for yet the value of art is not recognised by all. So many bands have risen to fame because of their talent. They got rich, princes and princesses in golden dungeons of indulgence and greed. They’re not selling art anymore now, they’re whoring themselves with tracks without meaning; the lyrics repeating themselves on the ones that quenched the most efficiently their thirst for dollars. If art was indulged and funded more, then money wouldn’t have to taint it - in some naïve utopia. I only see a horrible stew of business, fame and celebrity in the commercial industry. I can’t think of a more revolting mix and yet I can’t get enough of it. It’s one of those I-hate-you-I-love-you situations. Sometimes, IAMX feels like a small religion, a little world for fans to explore and be part of. Something pure? Maybe.

Are you listening?

Are you really listening?

Listen to: Imogen Heap - Canvas

Ottoke

2010-03-07T12:00:00.009+01:00

Sometimes, doesn’t life feel like a stage? We’re all actors walking about, playing our little role in the big play of Everyday Matters. It’s only when you take a step back and start taking notes that you get the bigger picture. It’s only when you detach yourself from your character’s point of view that you notice the possibilities. Your life could have been different if you set a foot in the other direction. You make a choice, pick a path to follow and you thread that road you own for a little while and before you notice it, the path owns you and is leading you further and further into a routine, a habit, a custom. It’s comfortable; you’re on a train, watching life out of your window. You’ve got a coffee on the table and feed from around the world on a newspaper. You’ve got a sheet of paper, you’ve got a pen. You start taking notes. That’s when you notice it. You notice how passive everything is. You notice the other paths that are taken by other people, by someone who could have been you. You notice how time is ticking, ticking, ticking as you sit there pumping knowledge and caffeine into your brain. You want free. You realise that on a long enough scale, everybody dies and you panic. What have you been doing with your life lately? Sitting around, taking notes, watching it all from the audience. More and more it feels like you’re doing a bad impersonation of yourself. You want to jump out of the train, run across the fields and start something anew, anything. You wish you could wake up in another place at another time as another person. And that’s when you run, you run backstage, pass the heavy red curtains and into the dressing room where the dresses, the masks, the make up is. You’re naked and you’re wondering who you want to be. It’s there again: choice. Laugh or cry. Hide or shout. Breathe or not. To be or not to be. If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. We all get to the point where we’ve got keys to unknown locks filling up the basket in the front hall. The outdated issues of fashion magazines stacking up next to our desks. The clothes too small to wear lingering in the back of our closet. It comes the time to throw it all away. It’s the spring cleaning. It’s the moment in your life where you close a door and open seven windows out wide. It’s the moment in life where you have to take a deep breath and just go for it. Change everything: change your clothes, change your hair, change your car, change your bedside book, change your ideas, change your thoughts. Get rid of the habit and open up to the unknown. Try something different. Try something new. You’re not the amount of money in your wallet, you’re not your job, you’re not your entourage, you’re not the shirt you’re wearing. It’s scary. It’s the Big Unknown, act two of Your Life. It’s the nature of inviting. What do I do now?

Listen to: Tablo + Pe2ny – White